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| Mar 15, 2019

Expectations and Judgments

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Hello hello! How are you?

So today it’s going to be more of a pep talk. I bring an issue that I address in my talks, but never has the enough time for it: expectations about these eco-friendly lifestyles and movements (zero waste, low impact, etc.) and judgments about the process of change. Other people’s and our own.

First of all, let me clarify this: I’m really glad that these movements exist and that people are getting more and more conscious about environmental issues related to their lifestyles. Hail to trends! Hahaha

Nevertheless, they instill us these negative feelings, whenever we don’t do as much as we were expecting ourselves to do, or even just the possibility of failing, or not being able to live a hundred percent according to our believes, during the process of change, the fear of being judged by others when we stumble, or even the feeling of actually being judged. Still, our worst enemy is (humming drums)… ourselves, and we are pro in the fine art of self-sabotage and self-judgment.

However, everything depends on of our openness to that kind of negativity in our lives and our willingness to let it spread wings and become a fire breathing, three-headed giant monster! We do not change overnight! Even if we strongly believe in something we do need and adjustment period.

“Change is the only constant in life.” – Heraclitus

The changing process is endless, really. We are ever changing, we are ever evolving. We are changing every day, little by little, even if we don’t notice it. Our goals, our beliefs. We are living in an era of information that is being presented to us in astronomical amounts, on a daily basis. It only makes sense that we would be affected by it.

Still, we need time to adjust to those changes. And whilst we are changing paths, there are going to be things we do well, things we don’t do so well, or even thing that we completely fail. And guess what! It’s part of the process, it is part of life. Life is all about trial and error: we try, we fail; we try again, fail again, and so on, until we nail it! And then we might fail again, but we now have the general knowledge of how to do things and we adjust that knowledge to our own way of doing things (we are all different) and then we get a formula that fits our own needs and life! And yay us!

We are just not use to the idea of failure. It’s one of our society’s taboos. So we don’t talk about it, we don’t teach our children how to face it or even how to learn from it. We all live in this bubble of constant competition (with other and with ourselves), and we are taught the need to excel ourselves and to be the best in everything. Or else, we suck, we are not good enough.

Guess what! We are. You are. Yes, there should be competition, but a healthy one. We should always want to better ourselves, but in an healthy way, without making us feel bad about ourselves. Besides, we should see other people – the so called “competitors” – as people we can learn new skills from, or motivation sources to keep on trying to better ourselves! And if we fail, well, we try again. Is it difficult to change? Of course it is. Are you going to find obstacles? Of course, you are. However, if it makes sense to you at the moment, just do it! Allow yourself to try, without being inflexible or intolerant with yourself or others, without judging every move, every action, every decision. Go with the flow! Do what makes sense to you, what makes you feel good, having in mind that we are not perfect – no one is – and we might make mistakes, we might not take the best step along the way, but at least we are trying! We are taking action and doing something!

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have alter.” – Nelson Mandela

Leave a comment and tell me if you’ve ever felt the pressure of these movements, if it was made by yourself or you were affected by others!

Hope you have a great week! Sending you positive energies! *

Expectations and Judgments written by Joana Vieira

If you like my content feel free to buy me a coffee ☕️

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